i wish this plague upon both your houses ,,

[Chess Lincoln]

I whispered back “be still my dear, for this will only hurt a second.”

[/color]

Stepping into the New Year’s party, all I could feel was the sensation of the bass drum pumping through my body. It seemed to be a pretty good party as I continued to make my way through the crowd to the place that the booze were being given out. Why was it that I went straight to the booze? For the simple fact that Isaac and I had been having some issues lately. All because of my sudden occurrence with fame. It seemed really quiet, though, for a while until I began to notice some familiar faces. The time frame of me to down a couple cups of my Jack Daniels while sporting the look with my bright red hair that faded to black. My tattoos were very visible because of the lighting. And the shirt that I wore revealed many of them. It covered me tight, but had rips and tears in it to portray my tattoos. My chest piece was visible; my back shoulder blade tattoos were visible. Almost every tattoo I had was visible when paired with my short shorts.

It was funny, that I was showing my shoulder blade piece. Probably because of the fact that it was a name that Isaac hated to hear and it was on my body; Gage Lawrence. As far as I was concerned for the moment, it was nothing to worry about. When was the last time I saw him? God only knows. I had Isaac now, even though we were running through a rough phase. So this perfect relationship that everyone seemed to think that Isaac and I had, were definitely a façade that had been put on for the public’s eye. I mean, photoshoots and more tattooing was bringing up my rise in fame. I needed people with my art on them for photos. And I knew that some people had contacted some other people. But I wasn’t sure who. The thought brought me back to another drink and shrugging off some guy that tried to flirt with me as I brought my Jack Daniels with me, slipping by him to find more people in the crowd.

but not even hell would forgive me, for what I’m about to do to you.

tagged; Gage Lawrence <33
notes; :D
inspiration; to keep from getting burned - MIW

[Gage Lawrence]

MY LOVE FOR YOU WAS BULLETPROOF,

[/size]
( but you're the one who shot me ) [/size][/center]

My cup filled slowly with the honey-colored liquid as I stood before the keg, pumping beer into what would now be my ninth cup. I had only been there for an hour or so, and as of the looks of it, the New Year's party was the perfect little "homecoming" event. I had been gone awhile, sporting one of my infamous little hiatuses. I don't know why I even bother to come back here, considering all the drama it provided me. Perhaps that was why: drama was fun, actually. I could truthfully, not complain about it. Plus, these parts were the perfect party scene, for the perfect party kid. I was well aware of the complications I was running back into, head first, with Chess. I don't quite know if I was growing tired of it all, or if I just couldn't stay away. Like anything else, we'll just have to see how it goes. If she was smart enough, you'd think she would stay away by now.

I slurped with undying thirst at my cup full of beer, gazing around at the wild crowd of college kids as they danced, drank, and socialized. It was different than my usual druggie kickbacks, but whoever was to say Gage couldn't party would be out of their mind. I wasn't even drunk, drunk yet, but my shirt was fully removed, and most likely being used to clean up some mess elsewhere. I couldn't find it in me to care, though. I came into this world completely unclothed, and at this rate, I'd probably go out the same way. My tattoos were more than visible now, and it made me feel a bit more confident than I already was. Girls dig tattoos, even if they tried to deny it. Though one primarily large and noticeable tattoo made it only a small bit harder on my game. Her name was there, shoulder to shoulder across my collarbones. "Cheshire." It definitely was high on the list of my many, many regrets. Though it was still probably a very stupid idea..

In my search for nothing particular, my baby blues basically blurred every male in the area, and thoroughly scanned each girl for the one who would most likely end up in my bed later tonight. You're alright, but lose the fucking back dimples, chubby. Pass. Damn. Too drunk though. Next. Oh shit, you're sexy as fuck. I'll keep an eye on you. Eventually I lost interest, there were too many, but so much time. I filled my cup once more, leaving the keg stand and walking toward the patio for smoke. Flipping open the pack and placing a cancer-stick between my lips, I held the lighter to my face and began puffing. The air was cold, and I instantly wished I had my shirt or at least a jacket.

Out of nowhere, a familiar face was spotted. I saw her from outside, through the window looking in. Her hair was different, it was longer and a different color. But that was only expected. Still, her style was one of a kind, and it was unmistakably Madison Lincoln. I sighed involuntarily, but the feelings that used to hit me when I saw her face, the pain, the love, the longing. All of it didn't seem to hit me all at once, or at least not as hard. Maybe I was over it. Maybe I wasn't. I don't fucking know, and I was starting to wonder if I even fucking cared anymore. But for some reason, the first thought that came to mind was the fact that I had never actually slept with Chess. Had I actually waited? Jesus, I must of had it bad. Did I still? Was it still there, waiting to pounce? I didn't know, still, but I did have a new goal in mind, in the meantime.. no? i lifted the cigarette back to my mouth, turning and figuring she'd see me when she saw me, and I didn't really doubt the fact that she'd approach me, had she been drinking..

[/size][/blockquote]

TAGGED
chess lincoln.
LYRICS
sleeping with sirens
bulletproof love
NOTES
yayay. haha I feel so evil already having Gage act this way.. :3

[/font]

[Chess Lincoln]

so tell me dear, can a heart still break..?

Scanning the crowd once more, I finally found someone worth talking to. One of the guys that I worked with. Just some jokes flew back and forth here and there before he found someone he wanted to take home and went on his merry way; yet there I was again. Alone and surrounded by dicks; tons of them. It was a gross feeling, but a proud feeling at the same time. Having many guys lust after you, it was odd. It took a while and a few more drinks before I actually started to care less about who I was talking with. And as I chatted with some guy and he tried to make a move, that’s when I bolted. Right out the door onto the porch. The light from the porch lights illuminated my eyes to an extent that seemed almost unnatural.

Leaning against the porch with my back facing outward, I kept my gaze on the inside crowd as the music moved the crowd like waves crashing on a beach. Thankfully for me the guy that had been preying on me had finally left. I noticed some guys were out here smoking, but I didn’t particularly care. Turning my back to them for a split second, I set my empty cup on the table next to an outdoor couch before turning back to face the crowd, figuring out what to do. Boredom at its finest. Pulling out my phone, I checked the time for a few moments before closing it and using the lights out here to adjust my hair a bit better so it pleased me more. When in the reflection I caught a familiar face.

I would be lying if I said that my heart didn’t skip a beat or two. “What the fuck? He’s back, again? This isn’t good. But.. I know he probably noticed me barging out here. I can’t not say anything to him.. jesus Christ. What am I gonna do?” I played with my lip ring for a second before turning a bit more, noticing Gage standing there dragging on a cigarette. How could I ignore the tattoo with my name in it? And had he seen that I still had mine with his name in it? God, the emotions were sending me on a roller coaster. What was I going to say to him? I was drunk and my emotions were bringing out random shit. I could pull off the bitch card tonight, couldn’t i? “back again?” I allowed my gaze to land on him as I took a couple steps closer to him for a conversation. My voice painted and dripping with a slight slur and my Finnish accent that never seemed to fail.

if it’s already stopped beating?

tagged; Gage Lawrence <33
notes; :D
inspiration; ghost in the mirror - MIW

[Gage Lawrence]

YOU SHOULD KNOW,

[/size]
( things aren't always what they seem ) [/size][/center]

The buzz I was beginning to feel made it a bit of a trip to stare at the cigarette smoke as it swirled against the starry sky. I let a tattooed hand run over my inked arm in attempt to warm myself up just a little bit. Holding both the cigarette and cup in one hand, I took a sip and then another drag in one swift motion. I heard the screen door slide open and then shut with a small thud. A shiver ran down my spine, and not just from the temperature of the night. It was like a movie scene actually. I turned to face the patio entrance, half-expecting to see Chess standing there. And she was. Leaned up softly against the porch pillar. I had wondered if she even acknowledged my existence. My best bet was that she had not, because if she had, I really don't think she'd be nonchalantly checking her phone like she was. I smirked to myself, taking the last drag of the cig and flicking it into the rocks off to my left.

Finally she looked up, and I looked away. I cross my tatted arms over each other. The Nightmare Before Christmas tattoo that Chess had done for me was the most visible in that position. She paused for a while, and I almost began laughing as I assumed she was catching her breath. Finally I heard her feet shuffle toward me for a brief gain of distance between us, her simple words ringing out and slicing the silence like a butcher knife. Her effort, or at least this is how I took it, to sound careless or even bitter, did not fool me. She cared, and I knew she cared deeply. By my simple return, once more, I could make or break her entire world. I don't think she knew it, but I had the power to change everything she had grown accustomed to, and I knew it. Again, this is all my own take on it, but you'd be a fool to try and correct me. Honestly, can you really say I'm not at least half-right about it?

Jesus, I felt so cruel thinking this way. But I couldn't help it. This was the real me, and Chess didn't have any more control over me like she used to, at least not now. I wasn't blinded by love anymore, I had been gone far too long for it to have stayed with me. I had done too many drugs to be left dwelling on the past, so those feelings could remain. No, things were different now. I had done a complete 180 on her, and she had no idea. Things were back to how they used to be with me. Things were back to how they were supposed to be. But again, we'll see. So with that, I let a bright grin spread across my face. "I missed you, Mads." My words were soft and I stared at her, stepping closer, my baby blues locking with her beautiful green gaze. Granted, she was still as gorgeous as she always has been, and I could see why I had fallen so hard. "How have you been?!"

[/size][/blockquote]

TAGGED
chess lincoln.
LYRICS
a day to remember
have faith in me
NOTES
(:<

[/font]

[Chess Lincoln]

nothing I could ever write, would help you understand this life.

I flipped my lip ring back and forth as I watched everything unfold in front of me. The way he could register my face and know exactly what I was thinking, definitely hadn’t changed. I hated the way he could do this, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I exhaled and lost my little charade of pretending to be something I wasn’t. Looking away from him, his voice hit my ears as he stepped closer to me and I could feel his eyes burning deep within me. “I missed you, Mads.” Chewing on my lower lip again, I looked back at him catching his beautiful blue eyes with mine as he spoke once more and I could feel my mind reverting back to years ago, like nothing had changed when in fact everything had. “how have you been?” I shrugged slightly to him.

“i.. I missed you too Gage.” I said before exhaling quietly and looking down for a moment, folding my arms across my chest and running my foot along the deck in a slight distraction as I picked my words carefully. “Things have been going well, I think. I’ve been doing a ton of photoshoots for my tattoos and stuff. Being happy finally, but you know how well that always lasts for me.” I seemed to mutter the last part as I glanced at my empty cup of Jack Daniels which was probably my fifth. I looked up at him as I dropped my folded arms from my chest and let them rest at my side, before lifting my right hand and pulled my hair to one side and messed with it slightly, allowing my bright green gaze to return back to him. “what about you? Its been awhile. What have you been up to?” I asked quietly, feeling slightly nervous. I wasn’t sure why, but it seemed in my intoxicated state that I was vulnerable.

Vulnerability was something I couldn’t handle very well. It wasn’t the fact that I always had to be strong; its just who I was. When you thought of Chess Lincoln, you thought of strength and pride. You thought of intimidation. I wasn’t sure why, but I had been told I was a pretty scary chick; yet here I was being the one scared by the one who meant the most to me. I allowed my green gaze to scan his body some, remembering all the tattoos I had done, all the fun we had when we were younger. When a little thing called love didn’t come by and fuck everything up. When happiness was actually possible.

there’s so much beauty when your eyes lay lost in all the city lights.

tagged; Gage Lawrence <33
notes; :D
inspiration; city lights - MIW

[Gage Lawrence]

YOU'RE SUCH A GORGEOUS NIGHTMARE,

[/size]
( old habits never seem to go away ) [/size][/center]

I listened to her next replies, which seemed like a speech considering the little amount of words we had previously exchanged. I could almost see, or feel, the shift she had made. The change in her demeanor, almost as if she had given her guard up and let down the fake front she was trying to display. Her first words came as no surprise, so I simply let them roll on through without feedback. I knew she missed me, everyone knew it. Speaking of that, what would everyone think now that I had returned? I continued to listen to her half-heartedly, though my mind was in new places and anticipating the near future, and the drama I had caused for it simple by my return. So she was happy now? That's what she had said, right? I had wondered briefly what that was supposed to mean, though I didn't press on about it. The thing about it though, with Chess, was that she was independent and goal-oritented, and it was something many could easily admire in her. "Being happy" didn't necessarily mean she found someone. It could have meant a variety of things, coming from her. Such as, a promotion, and possibly something she had found that was stable, but that she enjoyed doing. Though for some reason, I was leaning more toward the fact that she had found someone new, and in the back of my mind, my conniving spirit was starving for the knowledge of just how bad my return would fuck it all up.

She finished her spiel, and my reply was much shorter and useless than hers, but I wasn't one for small talk and she knew it. "Oh, same old same old. Can't brag about shit but hey, I can't complain either." I laughed, stepping in closer and finishing my beverage. I set the cup down, figuring I'd grab it before I went in, or just find a new one. I looked back up at her, grinning again, but not a toothy one. With a nod of my head, I flipped my silky black hair to the side, sweeping it across my forehead and out of my gaze. "Give me a hug babe, it's been too long." My words were sweet, and I wasn't sure how the pet name would affect her, but I also didn't give it much thought. Without much room for her to hesitate, I wrapped by arms around her, my hands gently gliding across her bare back as I pulled her close. I pretty much fully knew she wouldn't have declined anyways. Besides, it was just a hug. And we had too much of a past to pass up just a hug. And besides, Chess was drunk. Or at least nearing that point, and I could tell as if it was written across her forehead.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely interested in the way tonight could and/or would turn out.

[/size][/blockquote]

TAGGED
chess lincoln.
LYRICS
escape the fate
gorgeous nightmare
NOTES
---

[/font]

[Chess Lincoln]

you’re like a black cat with a black back pack full of fireworks..

I watched him and listened to whatever it was that he had to say. It wasn’t as much nor as indecisive as mine was but it did describe something that confused me slightly. “Oh, same old same old. Can’t brag about shit but hey, I can’t complain either.” It could mean basically anything. Either he was finally happy and content, or still trying to ignore me best he could. But the thing about that… was that if he was still regretful of me he wouldn’t be talking to me right now would he? No, he would’ve acted like he did before. When he acted as though I didn’t exist. But here he was making eye contact, smiling to me, being… the old him. The one that I fell in love with. I flipped my lip ring back and forth for a few seconds after giving him a gentle nod as my arms fell back to my sides.

“Give me a hug babe, it’s been too long.” I listened to him. In my intoxicated state, everything seemed slower. Before I could respond I felt his warm arms embrace me close to him. My instant reaction was tense as I wrapped my arms back around him. I finally just gave up in my mind and gave into him. Resting my head gently on his chest, I just melted back into his arms. The tense of my back when he had first danced his hands across my bare back where his name was now soft and calm. I shut my eyes gently for a bit so I could take in the feeling it had been so long from him to witness. Breathing slowly, I took in the familiar smell of him and let my memories flood back, breaking my mental barrier down slower and slower. My head gently resting on his bare skin, while my shirt didn’t cover much more of myself.

The thing about this was that I didn’t want to pull away, so when I finally did slightly, I didn’t stop touching him. I just stayed there and looked up at him with my bright green eyes filled with the feeling of being in his arms again. I couldn’t help but to not even notice the eyes on us from within the building. The whole town knew I was with Isaac, and here I was in Gage’s arms. Well… this was fun.

and you’re gonna burn the city down right now.

tagged; Gage Lawrence <33
notes; :D
inspiration; black cat – mayday parade

[Gage Lawrence]

SHOW YOU TO THE DOOR,

[/size]
( sew yourself shut and now you're begging for more ) [/size][/center]

I felt her arms hesitantly swing around my body, and eventually, during our embrace, I felt her give up once more and let her body cave into my hug. I smiled slightly. I couldn't tell you if it was another sly smile at the fact that I knew just what I was doing. Or if it was a smile at the people who lurked and watched us from behind Chess's turned back. Or if it was a real, genuine smile at her touch, after all this time. To be honest, it could've been all of the above. I let my hand glide over her head, and down her dyed locks of hair before resting on the small of her back once more as she laid her delicate head on my broad, bare chest. After a minute, I felt her release, but not fully, and gaze up at me. As if it was nothing, I stared softly back down at her, smiling fully once more.

I took a step back, parting our bodies but I let my hands fall down and grasped hers gently. It was brief though, before I released and we were no longer touching at all. The beer was starting to overcome me fully not, but I can't say I had enough to be drunk. After all, it was just beer. I could smell more than just that on Chess, though. She smelled of hard liquor, and I wondered how much her small body could take before the alcohol consumed her. Would it be taking advantage of someone if I prompted more from her? Even if it was someone like Chess, who I knew so much about and for so long? Who I once had the closest relationship of my life with? I had no idea, and frankly, I don't think I really had a care about it, either. I grinned again, my face almost looked like it brightened as I began to speak. As if I had a sudden idea, though I had probably been planning it since the moment I saw Chess tonight. "Say, what are you doing tonight?!" I let my grin remain, stepping closer to her again and acting as though it was the most innocent and meaningless question I could have inquired.

[/size][/blockquote]

TAGGED
chess lincoln.
LYRICS
all time low
break your little heart
NOTES
---

[/font]

[Chess Lincoln]

please don’t tell me that I’m dreaming..

The words that fell from his lips and hit my ears made me raise my eyebrow slightly. My arms back to my sides as I felt a craving in the back of my head for his arms and warmth again. I just shrugged slightly to his question as to what I was doing for the night. “Prolly drinking more JD.” I let a small smile lift the corner of my mouth as my Finnish accent dwelled in the words I spoke. I watched him step closer to me and I just bit down on my lower lip for a few moments as I looked away, feeling my cheeks slightly redden.

“What did you have in mind?” my mind decided to dance around the idea of what he was thinking. It could be something totally innocent or something that could ruin my life forever. Chances were that I was going to fuck something up somewhere and somehow. I always did, but you never knew with me. It could be something tiny or something huge. But I would be the one that would ruin it, and do a damn good job at it too. I couldn’t help but allow my gaze to follow him closely, bashfully, almost like we were young again. That was what this alcohol did to me; that bastard Jack. Who did he think he was?

when all I ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you.

tagged; Gage Lawrence <33
notes; sorry its crummy o.o
inspiration; Jamie all over – mayday parade

[Gage Lawrence]

AND WE COULD SIT AROUND AND CRY,

[/size]
( but frankly you're not worth it anymore ) [/size][/center]

I laughed half-heartedly at her first remark about the Jack Daniel's, wondering if she even needed anymore to be good to go for the night. I watched her reaction as I had stepped closer, how she bit her lip, the usual nervous habit, and looked away, blushing slightly. It amazed me how I could still have that affect over someone, and it unnecessarily boosted my confidence just a bit. I had so much game, and I knew it. Damn I'm good.

She responded once more to my question, and it was the exact reply I was seeking. Really no hesitation, and was seemed to be interest or willingness to be open to the options the night might bring. I smirked, but it was quickly transformed into a smile that was supposed to come across almost as bashful. "Oh, I don't know.." My voice trailed off quietly, gaze averting to my shoes as I shuffled a foot back and forth. I looked back up at her stunning green stare, the pause only lasting for a moment. "I figured we could catch up on some lost time," I grinned. "Maybe go get something to eat or.." I glanced down uselessly at my Rolex watch "I'm sure there's pizza places still open that wouldn't mind dropping somethin' off at my house." I chuckled, almost giggled actually.., lightly, staring at her once more. My last statement was said teasingly, but the seriousness within it was still unmistakable.

[/size][/blockquote]

TAGGED
chess lincoln.
LYRICS
mayday parade
when i get home you're so dead
NOTES
---

[/font]

[Chess Lincoln]

there’s blood on my hands, and the killers not my enemy..

Looking away from him for a few moments when he did his little bashful look, I could feel my heart being torn. Partially for Isaac who wanted to spend the night with me tonight when I ignored him to go and relax. I felt like in a way it was a good thing to have found Gage but in a way I felt like it was a curse. You’d never know what was going on in my mind currently, since the battle seemed to shift so rapidly. I bit down on my lower lip and exhaled quietly. “Oh I don’t know.. I figured we could catch up on some lost time. Maybe go get something to eat or.. I’m sure there’s pizza places still open that wouldn’t mind dropping somethin’ off at my house.” That could mean one thing, he hoped to actually innocently catch up with me.. or he planned on some fun tonight. But the state of my mind leaned more toward the innocent one when if I were sober, knew that wasn’t the right choice.

So then I had to do something that I really didn’t want to tell him. How was I supposed to break it to him? I was with someone, but I really wanted to spend the night with Gage. God, what a mess. “Uh, yeah. I’d love to spend the night with you.” I said softly, turning my gaze back to him and landing on his face to take in his baby blue eyes. “I’m also seeing someone though…” I murmured a little quieter toward the end, almost a dead giveaway that I did want to spend the night with him, but also the reluctance to do so because of Isaac. Because of the eyes that watched us from inside the house.

it’s all for the sake of love, it’s all for you.

tagged; Gage Lawrence <33
notes; :3
inspiration; the bomb dot com v2 – sleeping with sirens

[Gage Lawrence]

TAKE ME HOME,

[/size]
( i don't wanna be alone tonight ) [/size][/center]

She seemed to take a little to ponder my offer, and I was wondering what made her do so. There were several different possibilities. Maybe she had someone waiting for her, or maybe she thought it too soon to be spending time with me again. Her reply came soon enough though, as did her second. It didn't really come as a surprise to me though, and I didn't let any emotions portray themselves except for laughter at her first response. I teased her with my own. "Damn, I'm back for one night and you're already inviting yourself to spend the night.." I grinned, flashing my teeth at her playfully. I then addressed her next statement, stepping toward her and reaching her side. "Eh.. I'm not worried." I took her hand in mine softly and headed toward the back gate, before thinking twice if there was someone she needed to say goodbye to or not. I'm sure the fact of me being worried or not wasn't the point of the statement she had made, but I made it seem as though it was the only thing that mattered. Because well, it kind of was.

[/size][/blockquote]

TAGGED
chess lincoln.
LYRICS
mariana's trench
cross my heart
NOTES
---

[/font]

[Chess Lincoln]

I’m no savior..

Watching the boy who had once been the one I expected to spend the rest of my life with come closer to me and take my hand after his gentle voice hit my ears, kind of rang a tune in my heart. I gently grasped his hand back, flashing him a small smile. In a way, if he wasn’t worried then I shouldn’t have been. It would make no sense for me to worry if he wasn’t. Right? Isaac would understand, right? I kind of hoped quietly that he would. But then again, the little arguments we’ve had were something I needed to stray away from. I just nodded to him slightly. “Sometimes I hate you, do you know that?” I mumbled jokingly to him. The alcohol causing a slur in my voice to paint almost as much as my accent had. I continued to follow him, though, and the eyes were something that I couldn’t help but to ignore. “So are we getting pizza? Or having it delivered, dear?” I asked, turning my bright green gaze up to face him with curiosity. Completely forgetting to tell Isaac I was gone.

I’m no saint.

tagged; Gage Lawrence <33
notes; short but gets the point across xD
inspiration; mirrors – envy on the coast

[Gage Lawrence]

continued here.