» tear down my r e a s o n ;

[caine davin seymour]

MY WHOLE EXISTENCE IS FLAWED

Caine laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling and clearly unfocused as he had ever been. How did he get there again? When he looked to his side he saw through the shades in the window that it was dark outside, so it must either be night or early morning. Laying his hand on his stomach he noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt but was still wearing his jeans. He remembered having gone to a party, seeing people he knew and taking whatever random drug cocktail he had prepared for himself. It had been a way for him to unwind, his ex was back in town and how was he supposed to feel about her just showing back up on his door step. A few words had been exchanged in a civil manner but he wasn't sure if anything was solved. Basically, the main factor in fixing that equation was him getting clean and sober and quitting his drugs. But, that's no fun. It had been a half-hearted decision on his part, but he would try to make it work and show her that he didn't need to quit. In the mean time, he didn't think anything was officially back yet, they didn't want to rush as much as he wanted to just claim her again. In the mean time, until she made a move he was going back to his usual life : party, sleep, pass out, sex. Though not in that order, still, repeat.

Caine felt relaxed and like he could lay there for hours, he knew he wasn't rolling because the room didn't feel like it was on fire and the bed didn't feel ridiculously and epically soft. Who else was here? It wasn't rare for Caine to bring a girl home and possibly not even knowing her name, it was just what he did to try and have a social life and not be a loner. There were a couple girls that were regulars, but nothing more than that, she still had his heart but he still had his needs. Caine heard light footsteps in the hallway. Maybe he'd just drank a whole lot and ended up here, he figured there was a girl around here somewhere because his pants were unbuttoned and he sure as hell hadn't done that just for the hell of it. He didn't move, why? Because he was comfortable and could have just stayed there until he drifted into sleep. Still, he felt restless and needed to do something, if he got bored enough he'd find a clean shirt and check back into some party that was nearby. That was the beauty of college, lots of people to sell to and use with and also party with. It was the one thing that the two schools had in common, the parties and the students here really knew how to have a good time. They could make even taking a bunch of downers fun.

Caine took a deep breath and let it out, yep, too much to drink. But, that was okay he didn't regret his nights anymore and he turned his head to the door that opened to his room and closed with a click. There she was and then he remembered slightly what had happened and figured on what was going to happen. This was routine now or ritual, in a way she had been there since his recent break-up mostly for company and fun and he sure wasn't complaining about it otherwise. There had been times though, where there might been sex or just being there. Maybe get high instead, he didn't mind either actually. Drugs had become such an integral part of his life that it held that top pedestal on his priorities, and she didn't judge him for him and rather shared it with him, if she did have an opinion he hadn't heard it yet. It was a nice change of pace, kind of like having a change of scenery without really moving. Slowly, he lifted himself up on his elbows to bring his upper body up a little. It must have been late because of his slightly inebriated state, who cared? It's not like he had a curfew or anybody to report to, his sibling roommates were still out of town and he was doing his own thing. Being single had it's perks, like how his day went today for example.

---

CLOSED THREAD. kthx

[Nicole "Iris" Hendricks]

WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE THE MOVIES

2 AM. The shadows that hid in the city's allies now hung over the heads of all living, though artificial light kept it from ultimate consumption. Nothing breathed life into the city like darkness, it seemed: instead of people at home snoozing happily, half naked women and over-excited men took to the streets. The college girl was no exception, though she didn't like to classify herself with anyone. Though she was not hitting the strip, she was definitely wide awake - a delicate figure leaning against the door frame of the apartment's bedroom, a soft thump as she closed the door behind herself. Bright blue doe eyes swept over her surroundings, a curious glisten in them. A haunting light glowed from down the hall, flickering both brightness and color: a left on television. Was she alone? The thought seemed to keep the girl in her spot, leaning against the door. If there was someone else in the apartment she didn't know about, she was unaware - and in the darkness, it scared her.

Not taking her eyes off of the glowing light down the hall, she took a few cautious steps from the door, lightly - she didn't want to make the intruder aware of her existence (if there was someone). She raised her hands to her hair, weaving fingers through the dark brown locks, and pulled it all to the side to hang over only one shoulder as she walked - then proceeding to pull the shirt wrapped around her up further and crossed her arms to keep it in place. All she wore was her panties and bra, both laced in black, and over that a men's - she assumed Caine's - button up white shirt she'd found on the ground. That, and one earring. Everything else was scattered around the bedroom in various places: bracelets stacked on the nightstand, shirt on the floor, shorts meshed in with the bed sheets. She didn't seem bothered by the fact that she was undressed. She was comfortable, and well - this wasn't new to her, being in this apartment like this. But her fear of the dark made her far more alert than any other situation.

Iris let out a large sigh of relief when she finally made it to the end of the hall: the television was left on, no strangers. She switched the power off, and took to the kitchen, quickly rummaging through it to find a cold beer hidden behind leftovers, and was off back down the hall once more, to the bedroom. Why was she here? This wasn't too far from Iris's lifestyle. Though she did live in one of Luxford's dorm complexes, she was hardly ever there. Making time between going to friends and playing games with boys, how could she find the time to get home? It wasn't that she was out at a different guy's house every night. But she wasn't exclusive to Caine, either. And he definitely wasn't to her - she knew that. Not that she liked that either, though. Currently, he was the only guy to her. She flirted with others, but nothing more than that. Caine wasn't her boyfriend, but he was there. Well, for the most part. She knew he had an addiction, but she didn't find it a problem. She joined him in it sometimes, even - though now it was starting to eat at her a little. He still satisfied her both physical and emotion hungers. She called him when she needed him, he called her when he needed her.

She opened the door and closed it, twisting the knob before it closed as to not wake Caine up, oblivious to the fact that he already was. She pulled opened the already unbuttoned shirt, and slid it down her arms, letting it drop behind her back, exposing her natural tan. That alone was enough for her to love summer, without the time off from class. She took a moment to search the floor for her shirt, before scooping it up, placing her arms through the holes, pulling it over her head, and looking over to the bed to see him. Seeing him sitting up almost scared her, giving her heart a little jolt. But, her only reaction was a smile, straight white teeth poking out behind her lips. "Didn't wake you, did I?" She spoke in a low voice, pulling her hair out from under her shirt, and striding over to the bed. She crawled over him on her knees, sitting on his lower stomach - so he could still sit up. "Thirsty?" She said, pulling up the beer in her hand to show him, before taking a swig for herself.

YOU BREATHE JUST TO KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE

POST FOR Caine!
WEARING this

[caine davin seymour]

MY WHOLE EXISTENCE IS FLAWED

Any normal person would have probably been freaked out slightly at waking up alone and not knowing how you got there. Another day in that life that was Caine and his wild ways. Slowly but surely he was starting to remember, there was drinking and more drinking. Too much for some people, but not for him and his friends, they hit the bottles hard, the drugs were passed out and if you didn't pass out then you didn't party hard enough. That was the college life of this town, literally sex, drugs and rock & roll and he aimed to follow the ways of those before him. There was movement in the room and he saw her, that brunette he wasn't so much fond for as he just liked being around her. She didn't wear much he noticed, but then again she had just taken off his own shirt and put her's back on. Shame, he liked the view from where he was on his bed. She'd probably gone to get something from his kitchen or use the bathroom and left him here, sounds about right. They weren't an item or anything special, nothing more than fun, but she was a frequent visitor in comparison to other girls he had brought back to his bed or even his ex girlfriend. It had been a year right, technically he'd spent more time physically with this girl than the one who actually had his heart. It was a comfort thing, they had their fun and she didn't judge him as others did and even went along with it, he was cool with that and didn't want it to change.

Caine watched with eager eyes when she headed his direction, No, must've dozed off for a second. It was times like these that he remembered why certain drugs were in certain situations, drinking went along with coke or any uppers really. Like it's own form of speed balling that kept you moving, numb and more aware at the same time. So much drinking made you dull and sleepy, nobody wanted to be that party pooper. The weight on the bed shifted a little and he focused again as she sat on top of him. His elbows held up his upper body while she anchored the rest, the cold bottle in her hand was new and unfortunately probably the last beverage he had in this place. She asked him if he was thirsty and he was, for beer and whatever more came with the package. There was something about her allure and it went beyond her physical appearance that held him to her. It was strange, because she wasn't just some hot girl he managed to get the attention of. In their own special way this was them supporting each other and it worked for the both of them because otherwise this arrangement would not have lasted this long, right? Caine didn't even realize how much of a mess they had left the room, sometimes they got carried away and it was enough to make his sister scowl at him and his brother grin and give him a high-five. You'd think animals had been let loose and let run rampant, maybe that's what they were : animals and they just wanted to do their thing and have fun.

This was the one exception that had worked, having a good friend and one that you could also physically be with and not have all that drama that had plagued him before. It was funny, now that she was back in town and in his life she popped up in his head all the time and before it had been easy to push her out with a line of coke, a few pills or a few hard drinks. Or even a pretty girl in front of him half naked. Right now it was easy enough to push her out, but she'd get back in their again soon enough, hopefully not too soon. Sure. Caine responded, taking the bottle when she was done and taking a swig also. What time is it? He wondered, merely for pure curiosity rather than actually having somewhere else to be. Caine had never been the kid that grew up with a curfew and he wasn't about to start now at the age of twenty-four. All these nights of drinking and drugs and whatever else left gaps in what happened and you woke up content and not sure why, but since you were content you went on with your day anyway. Caine laid back on the bed to relax and pushed his hair back and out of his face so he could see. The light from the window that came from the probably full moon illuminated her figure on top of him and he could see her better. His hands rested on her upper thighs sitting on the smooth skin and playing with the edge of the t-shirt she had just put back on. It was rare, but there were times that they would actually talk and sit on his bed and she'd still wake up in the morning there next to him, like he said rare because talking wasn't as fun.

[Nicole "Iris" Hendricks]

WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE THE MOVIES

"A second?.." Iris said, staring down at him. Her eyes went down his stomach, then back up with a quick raise of her eyebrows. She ran her hands through her own hair, flipping it again over her right shoulder and out of her face. "More like two hours, babe." She leaned in towards him, her back curving - placing her hands over his shoulders and onto the bed sheets behind him, her nose lightly bumping against the side of his. Her gaze drifted from his lips, up to his bright blue eyes, mocking hers. Well, the difference between the shades were obvious, but still: blue is blue. She loved them, they added to his sex appeal in her mind. She'd always loved blue-eyed boys. Something about them seemed more emotional - and though their relationship was anything but emotional, she liked them. Blue eyes had been her favorite - of course, until she met one with green. They were an envious color, and rare. Chance had meant more to her than any guy she'd met before - Not only was he probably the sweetest eye candy to her, she had been drawn to his persistent nature. From his wolf grin and charming style to his romantic, care-free and somewhat.. sweet side. She never knew how much she'd miss his arm around her protectively during bonfire parties. Of course, this was why blue was so refreshing. They didn't give her the memory of him when she looked in them - and luckily enough, he was an easy memory to push away with Caine around.

A smile grew on her lips, all fours above him still. "2." She spoke softly, parting her lips in the slightest, and kissing his lower lip. And when she pulled away, again, her eyes looked over his face, eyelashes flickering. As little as they seemed to share with each other - other than a bed - she could tell he hadn't been himself in the last week or so. Of course, she pulled him back to himself quickly when he seemed "out" of it, but there was something there. She tilted her head, eyes narrowing slightly. Something was on his mind. Shit happened. At first she had told herself not to ask, it wasn't her problem. But now it was bothering her, too. Not that it was a huge change in him, but there was an obvious distraction in his mind. "You seem so distracted lately.." she said quiet tone, above a whisper, a hint of seduction in her voice. "What's on your mind?" She was unsure if this was even okay to ask, but she didn't care. It wasn't on her mind to lose him - that'd be more than a bummer for her. But this had to end.

YOU BREATHE JUST TO KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE

POST FOR Caine!
WEARING this
I am SOO SO SOOOO sorry this took SOOOO fucking long, I won't keep you waiting two weeks ever again, holy shit I'm never this bad D:

[caine davin seymour]

MY WHOLE EXISTENCE IS FLAWED

There was this pretty, no gorgeous girl sitting half naked on top of him and the only other thing that entered his mind, besides the obvious, was his ex-girlfriend. He couldn't even have a moment of peace from her when she wasn't even here. Distractions could only put off the inevitable for so long and he was fighting it every second, at least since she had showed up on his door step with that lost look on her face. Caine had moved on, but not emotionally. In that area he was still pretty stuck. Two hours? The time did not seem to have passed like that for Caine, then again a drug combination could be the reason for that. Iris hadn't left, so that meant he hadn't been a completely horrible host. She leaned into him, Sorry. You must have worn me out. Or too much to drink, either way he was satisfied in some area. For a few seconds she had his full undivided attention, then those lively blue eyes of her met his own and he was reminded of her. They weren't the same, Mika's eyes were sad and tired, while Iris' were alive and suggestive. It didn't stop the connection though and he mentally shoved it out of his brain as best he could. How was that fair if she wouldn't get back together with him but still stop his other relationships?

She wasn't his girlfriend, but there wasn't anybody else occupying his bed as much. Once Caine had settled in this arrangement he hadn't wanted to change it or complicated it or be one of those guys with ten girls like this on speed dial. It worked, why ruin something that worked fine. 2 am, it was still early and even in the morning hours such as this he didn't take the sky lighting up or darkening as a sign to stop whatever he was doing. Caine ran his own schedule, sleeping when he could of course. She kissed him, and liked this particular distraction and wanted to continue on this familiar path until a question, one he hadn't been bothered to think about nor even want to answer. in a second the conversation went from a spark to initiating words, he wasn't in the mood for questions and considering the nature of their relationship it seemed to be something a friend would ask versus a lover. At least that's the way he sorted it in his mind in order to not accidentally complicate things as he had been known to do. Still, she was absolutely right. This whole reappearance thing had his attention tied up and he was stuck in his mind. Truth be told, there was a lot on his mind. There really wasn't a way to avoid answering the question and he almost just wanted to tell her. Well, right now, you are on my mind. Again, half-naked girl in front of him was definitely difficult to ignore. Caine smirked a little and leaned up to kiss her softly still. There really wasn't a chance that his own personal distractions had affected his behavior, or had it?

He tried to think if it had been made that obvious, as if he himself had placed the elephant in the room and then expected other's to not notice. If it bothered her that much, then he figured it was only fair. Ex-girlfriend problems, nothing for you to worry about. it really wasn't, it was meant to tear Caine up inside, not anybody else as collateral damage.

---

haha, it's cool :] . I got tons of work to keep me occupied on my end, I didn't even realize it had been that long xD

[Nicole "Iris" Hendricks]

WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE THE MOVIES

A smile pulled at her lips when he kissed her, making it hard to return the favor, and kiss him back. 'Well, right now, you are on my mind.' His words echoed in her head, the words she loved to hear. The feeling of being needed, wanted, it helped her thrive. Well, at least, in this way. This is what she'd learned. Lust for love, she'd never felt much compassion. So, she didn't return it often. This feeling of being good for something satisfied her now, filled the emptiness, but every drop of affection she got still echoed in the hole of her heart. She sat up again, blue eyes once again scanning his face. "Good.." She replied, a slight head tilt with her words.

She pulled a hand away from the bed sheets as she sat up, dragging it over his shoulder, down his chest and stomach. Her eyes followed her own hand movement, somewhat distractedly, a smile still lingering on her lips. But, then, his next words wiped the smile clean. 'Ex-girlfriend problems, nothing for you to worry about.' Oh. Oh reeeeally. Her gaze shot right back up to his face, eyelids narrowing. Ew. Ex-girlfriend. She hated the word. She resisted the urge to spit out some words along the lines of 'get that bitch out of your head!' and, it wasn't easy. She'd gotten better at holding back her wrath, but that didn't all mean that it went away. Her lips parted as if to say something, once again distractedly looking down, the anger departing from her face and back into a curious, gentler expression. "..Ex?" Her words hummed. She tried to picture who he meant, and immediately her mind shifted to that autumn girl. She rolled her eyes, remembering her. "Is she bothering you? You want me to talk to her babe? She's no good for you. She treats you like you're worthless." She was half joking, half serious. Whether he said yes or not, she knew it was time to have a little "chat" with princess perfection.

YOU BREATHE JUST TO KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE

POST FOR Caine!
WEARING this (or was)
NOTES: Yay back on track :D

[caine davin seymour]

MY WHOLE EXISTENCE IS FLAWED

The list of things on his mind was prioritized at the moment and Mika was not at the top, quite literally she was on top of him and on his mind so it was hard to change the order. He didn't mind, yes his life seemed hopeless but there wasn't any point in being sexually frustrated, he really just didn't care what he did anymore, what was the point? Things were moving along smoothly, at least they were until he mentioned the Ex, he saw her face change a little and something darkened in her eyes. Immediately he regretted even mentioning the dreaded ex-girlfriend. It wasn't exactly good form to mention your ex-girlfriend with your current fling. Caine knew that they knew at least of one another, despite the two large campuses of the two schools it was much like a small town where everybody knew everybody one way or another. He wasn't sure what their deal was but he could tell that she didn't appreciate the mention of her, it took him a moment to decided whether to defend her or not. For a couple months after he had to learn to quell the urge to defend all the negative things people said about her in his defense, now he just didn't say anything, he was still so confused on the matter and those emotions were gridlocked tighter than freeway traffic.

"No, i've already taken care of it. Don't worry about it." That was the lsat thing he needed, Mika wondering what the hell he was doing with Ms. Hendricks here and how that contributed to his lifestyle changes at all. Well, it didn't and he didn't care about he liked how his life was right now. Sex, drugs and some more drugs. Even if he quit one there would always be another one right there, and lately he'd found some fun things to try. Caine ran his hands up and down her thighs a few times before they traveld up to her waist and to her sides, being there gently. Still, in the back of his mind he didn't appreciate the comments made about her, even if they were somewhat true. But, what if he was worthless? What then? Good thing he had a distraction in front of him or he'd be stuck on that thought for a good while. "Don't worry about her."

---

yay, drama :D

[Nicole "Iris" Hendricks]

WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE THE MOVIES

As he spoke after her, though still listening, the words she'd shot about Mika still lingered in her mind - not wondering if they were too harsh, but wondering if they weren't harsh enough. Once good friends, now Mika was less than dirt to her. She didn't want to push Caine away from herself with saying shitty things about the girl, but rather, push him from Mika. Thoughts were already mixing in her head. She pouted her lip slightly, not too exaggerated to look like one of those whiny girls, but almost jokingly - to hint that maybe she didn't think Mika was a threat? Playing it coy. 'No, I've already taken care of it. Don't worry about it.' he instructed her. She cocked her head slightly. Had he? Or, was he just trying to keep Iris away from the girl? That had to mean that she was messing around with him again. Still, the way he spoke relaxed her somewhat. That, and his hand on her thigh, sweeping up her side. 'Don't worry about her.'

Acting time. Her expression loosened into a more relaxed, yet somewhat concerned, face. Loving yet still fiery - definitely a look your mom wouldn't give you. "If you say so..." her voice trailed off. She looked him in the eye, hoping what she was about to implant into his brain would possibly stick. "You know, you deserve better than her. You aren't worthless, she just can't accept you. She wants to change you." She purred. "She's no good for you, she doesn't let you live.. She wants to chain you down. If she really cared for you, she'd accept you for who you are." Her voice was quiet, without the necessity to speak over any loud music. Her ploy to poison the guys mind to the girl was in affect. Plant the seeds, and they'll grow when he's alone, thinking about it. "And she's missing out on a really amazing guy." She added, dragging her fingers along his jaw line, feeling a few prickles.

YOU BREATHE JUST TO KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE

POST FOR Caine!
WEARING this (or was)
NOTES: trying to poison him. >:3

[caine davin seymour]

MY WHOLE EXISTENCE IS FLAWED

Caine could really care less what Mike was doing at that moment, he had this one in front of him. She fucking left him and then decides to show up again because she felt like it, how was he supposed to respond when she threw his heart into a dangerous roller coaster. At least with the no-strings attached deal you could really do whatever you wanted. Caine liked iris, but in the sense that he was friends with this hot girl and they were sleeping together, cool. That was it. She didn't seem the time to really get attached or settle down anyway, not that it was a bad thing because he didn't want that either right now, a year and he wasn't over his last relationship anyway. Hopefully, she wouldn't go and act like a jealous girlfriend over this, Mika would hardly respond well though maybe she would leave him alone and stop playing these games with him if she did. What was he thinking? He didn't want to stir up anything like that, just leave it alone. Still, she didn't drop the subject immediately. Instead she took on the role of friend who happened to be straddling him and at least tried to get him to forget about her or strengthen whatever negativity his mind was placing toward her.

Plenty of people wanted to change Caine and he had resisted those efforts for pretty much his entire life, why should she be different? Though his emotional attachment to her was something he didn't want to give up. In a way it was like drug use, you immediately get this lifestyle that makes you even forget what being clean felt like and when you stop something ,you start another because you want to feel that again but can't, you can never reach that level again, it's impossible. When you do feel normal you don't like it and miss it immediately when it was gone, it just dragged you along for it's wicked ride. Her fingers traveled along his face and his eyes went back up to her, they got along and she didn't care what he did really. He could be stupid drunk or so high he couldn't move and she would just roll with it. Caine didn't feel guilty at all, nothing and it felt good. He smiled a little, "Enough about her." He said and he moved his upper body up so that he could kind of sit up on his own and she more sit on his lap than his stomach. She wasn't his girlfriend but she had been there more than the last one had in that they were there when they needed each other. Not a shoulder to cry on, but an outlet really and it worked for him quite fine and he wasn't hearing complaints either. She was there now and leaned to kiss her again, though not one of those soft passing by kisses either. Basically he didn't want to talk about her anymore, he didn't want to go there and ruin his current good mood.