wish you were here - open

[isaac clarke]

Anyone who knew Isaac he was no stranger to parties. Actually, he was a frequent flyer so to speak when it came to attending any party at all. With summer literally right around the corner and no more college to worry about the coast of California had literally been booming with parties. How does he know this, you ask? Well, had he not been traveling the coast of california the past few months he would have known simply because people are predictable. It's hot out, people are out of school with nothing to do expect sex, drugs and parties. Having grown up in California it was something Isaac had seen all his life.

Just returning to Outlier not 24 hours ago, Isaac was welcomed back with open arms to the city he despised for multiple reasons. He left on his own accord, tired of the heartache he experience over Chess; everywhere he went, everything he saw in that fuckin' town reminded him of her. So he packed up his shit and headed south, traveling along the coast selling his art and trying to make a name for himself. He was pretty successful for the most part, but compared to the popularity of others (AKA Chess) he was nothing but a tad pool in a large pond. He was fine with this, he still got what he needed and even though he dropped out of school to travel he still intended to finish up the classes he missed over the summer. Hopefully. Even in his travels, Isaac fond himself thinking of Chess a lot more then he should have. He slept with countless women, did countless drugs and submerged himself in alcohol and his artwork. But nothing ever managed to remove her memory. The worst part? One of his most popular pieces was the one he painted of her.

Entering the party, Isaac saw a lot of familiar faces. Mostly women, who he couldn't remember their names but it was kind of nice to see something familiar for once. He really wasn't sure why he came back. Maybe it was in hopes of seeing Chess as heartbroken as he is was over Gage or whatever the fuck his name was, but there really was no place like home. A few people stopped and shook his hand, some girls placing kisses on his cheeks while he mingled with various people at the party. I saw you on the television! some said, others made comments like 'So you're a big time artist now, how about painting me?' the compliments helped his ego that was for sure, but they were blowing things out of proportion. There was a piece done on him last month that aired a few weeks ago on some no name channel, but compared to others it was nothing. Isaac grabbed a beer and sucked it down like it was nothing before grabbing another. He had built quite a tolerance to alcohol since he had left, which made getting a buzz harder then usual. Maybe he should try something a bit .. harder.

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Open for anyone/multiple people <3
I played it off as a different party ..
aaaand I'm hoping for a quick play. Just
wanted to give some info on where Isaac
has been since I poofed.

viv loves you c: ♥

[Chess Lincoln]

I fell in love from the moment we kissed..

A party was just the place for me to forget everything I ever felt. yeah, I'd done it again. fallen for a guy, Gage came back and I went and fucked it all up. I must have been good at that. pushing everyone I knew away. because as soon as I knew it, Isaac and Gage had dropped me and left. yet again, you would honestly think I'd learn. I thought I would, but no. part of me hated what I did. I didn't know where Isaac went, I didn't know what happened to him. but the only thing I could think of was him and dazy running off and having the time of their lives where I stayes exactly how I deserved to be. alone and swallowed by my own misery.

today with another party, I never went for the people anymore. I didn't do anything but take up a drug habit. Heroin was my drug of choice. i was a tattoo artist after all, i could get as many needles as I wanted and people wouldn't question me. i had been doing heroin since everyone left. i drank often, but i never had sex anymore. i used to sleep around a lot after Isaac and gage had left, looking for that companionship until i had been taken advantage of in my influenced state. i went from a very outspoken, outgoing person, to the one that refused to dance and just sat outside on the ground smoking the night away.

i had already shot up when i got to the party, and i spent almost the entire time outside with vodka, two packs of cigarettes and zoned off into space as the high of the heroin overtook me. i was rather content, until i heard the word of mouth running around outside and back inside. "Isaacs back... he seems fine but Chess is a mess. ha! that rhymes." i just shook my head before hearing someone want to go up and tell him how much of a shit person i was. so ignoring them slightly, i rolled my eyes, said nothing, and stood up leaning against the railing with my cigarette, my back turned to everyone, and an arm resting over the fresh track mark that you could only notice if you looked for it. but it was no secret that i was a drug user now.

since then we’ve been history.

tagged; Isaac <3
notes; oooooo this will be interesting x3
inspiration; if I’m James Dean, you’re Audrey Hepburn – Sleeping with Sirens

[isaac clarke]

The party was soothing for the time being. Granted Isaac was still unable to feel a buzz after two beers and three shots, but he played it off as nothing more then a tolerance, not an addiction. Truth be told his liver was probably shot to shit by now. But he kept on drinking, mixing his various alcohols as he chatted up with several people, talking about all kinds of things ranging from school to art to sex and drugs. The topic of drugs was where something more .. interesting came up. Something he was not expecting, and something that was an immediate buzz kill. Chess is here, you know the girl who was currently under his arm spoke, a twisted smile on her face. Before Isaac could speak, she did again. She's out on the porch, smoking her lungs away. But that's not the least of her problems now. She's got some fancy track marks from all the heroine she's been shooting the girl said with a giggle that made Isaac's stomach churn. "What?" He said, literally pushing the girl away. Oh come on Isaac. Are you really going to get all wound up over a junky? she retorted, Isaac looking down to the glass of whiskey in his hands. Without hesitation he threw it on the girl, she gasping out of shock. "That's what happens to whores who gossip. Now be a good girl and go get me another drink," he said, tossing her the cup as she caught it. She went to literally throw it back at him, but Isaac was already gone, on his way to the porch. You're a really dick Isaac! the girl called after him, but he was already too far into the crowd to hear the last words. Not that he cared anyway.

The moment he saw her he could see she wasn't the same. She was still beautiful, but she looked like she wanted to shove a barrel down her throat. Not to mention how ill she looked. It was painful to see her like that, to say the least. He stopped before he went into her view, watching as she took another long drag from her cigarette. For all the shit she put him through, Isaac still wanted nothing more then to hold her again. But not like this - not matter what she appeared to be Chess would always be beautiful in his eyes, but she looked positively sickly. Maybe there was truth to the rumors. Sighing a bit Isaac found himself nervous - when was the last time he actually felt nervous? - and moved into position so she could see him. His eyes finally caught hers for the first time in ages, Isaac feeling that slight fluter in his stomach he did the first time they kissed as an actual couple. He offered her a weak smile, grabbing two beers before heading out into the porch.

"Well you look like shit," was the first thing he said to her, a sly smirk on his face as he noticed the vodka in her hands. "Didn't realize you had a drink …" his voice drifted off as he placed one beer on the ground. Immediately Isaac searched for any signs or track marks, but the way she was standing he couldn't see anything. He remained quiet for a moment, eyes wondering around the crowd as he took a long gulp of his beer. "Where's whats-his-face? Don't tell me he's off fucking someone else already," his words were harsh, but she deserved it. At lest Isaac thought so.

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oooh he's going to be so mad when he finds out! XD
I also promise my posts will get smaller, just a lot to
sat at the moment ;P You don't have to match <3

[Chess Lincoln]

to die by your side

as I took another drag off my cigarette, I could hear the people in the party talking about me. it wasn't made a point to be all secretive. I was the fuck up here when I used to be the life of it. its the same when a rising star falls to their utmost worst. it was a horrible thing, really. but I enjoyed the high and I started to learn not to give a fuck. and I hadn't given a fuck until I heard some shuffling in there and steps out on the porch. I didn't look, I didn't want to look. I just took another drag from my cancer stick and flicked the ashes off before hearing the voice I dreaded to hear most. you look like shit. I heard my once one true love say. I lowered my gaze and nodded. "i feel like shit." i said in a gentle tone before allowing my green eyes to dance up to his face.

He looked no different and i looked like a hurricane hit me. glad to know it was killing me and he was fine. maybe i deserved to die. it was always a thought in my head ever since i was raped. i obviously did something wrong to deserve this kind of treatment. i pretended like it didn't affect me. when in reality, it was the only thing affecting me. i hated that he saw me this way, but somewhere in the back of my mind, j screamed for him to help me. that if he saw what i had done he wouldn't ever leave again and i would vow to never be a shitty person again.

only in a perfect world, right? i moved my arm that covered the track mark to take the beer from him. i poured out my vodka and shrugged to him about the drink comment. "i should probably lay ofr the hard alcohol right now. so thanks." i offered him a half ass smile. it was all i could feel for that moment that actually resembled the smile i used to have before everything went to shit. i was a different person now, and i wish things hadn't changed. but they did, and i almost felt awkward here with Isaac. i made eye contact once and my brightgreen eyes were now a dull earthy color instead of a aqua they used to be. which i refused to make constant eye contact. i just let my gaze drift to the floor, flicking off more ash from my cigarette.

when he asked what happened to gage, I just shrugged. "you both left at the same time. I dont know what happened to him, and I didn't know what happened to you. I could care less about gage, but it was you I was worried about." I said with my eyes still watching the floor.

is such a heavenly way to die.

tagged; Isaac <3
notes; I have the perfectly thing to tell him if he asks why she's done it ;3
inspiration; there is a light that never goes out - the smiths

[isaac clarke]

I fell apart when I fell for you.

[/font][/i]

What was Isaac suppose to say to her right now? He had no idea how to handle this, for it was really the first time he had been in this situation. Everything about her demeanor reflected what she felt, how she was doing. Chess didn't even have to tell Isaac Gage was gone for him to know. She always took the loss of a lover hard, at lest the ones she loved. But what was bothering him most at the moment was if her current state was because he left or if it was because Gage did.

The brilliant green eyes he had been longing to see lost the light he loved so much. His caramel eyes only caught a second because she had refused to look at him directly. It was another sting - did she not want to see him? Or was is shame? Isaac was thinking that later of the two, which only fueled his desires to make her his again. He wanted to help her. That was, assuming she needed help. He needed to find out if the rumors were true, because for the first time since he left he stopped hating her. Isaac had so many things planned out to say to her when he finally saw her again, but they all went out the door when he finally saw her looking so terrible. He didn't hate her; he didn't wish death on her and he didn't wish for her to get pregnant with Gage's kid only for him to leave again. All those awful things he planned to say he never really meant, and now seeing her alone only made him regret even thinking them.

Isaac merely shrugged when she mentioned Gage left. "Can't say you or I are surprised," he spoke before hearing her next few words. "You should know not to worry about me, I'm a big boy. And I thought you could handle yourself but clearly ..." his voice drifted off as he looked down. This was a lot more emotional then he expected it to be. Now he remembered why he never settled for one girl to begin with. "I traveled around Cali. Trying to make a name for myself with my art and shit. Of course that is what I keep telling myself," he said, shaking his head. It was the truth, but there was so much more to it then that. "I had to get out of this town after you dropped me like a bad habit. Everything I saw reminded me of you in one way or another. Too many god damn memories with you here .." his voice drifted off as he chugged his beer. "Didn't matter though. I did a lot to try and forget you and I never did. I had this god awful speech planned out for you too. If I came back and ran into you," he smirked a bit. "Something along the lines of 'you're a back stabbing whore' or something. Sometimes I wonder why I came back to be honest. I told myself I never wanted to see you again, though staring into those beautiful green eyes was all I thought about the entire time I was gone," Isaac gave a shake of his head, throwing his beer bottle out into the lawn. He felt bad for the poor sap who had to clean this shit up.

But he needed to know. Everything was pointing toward the fact that Chess was fighting an addiction (or bathing in it) and he just needed to know if she was the same person he fell in love with. So he reached over to her hand and took it in his, looking down at her arm, eyes slowly looking up her arm. "I left to get away from you, yet in the end I ended up coming right back to you. How ironic." he shook his head and laughed a bit. "And you threw me out like a piece of trash." It was then he saw the track marks.

Isaac literally tossed her hand to the side. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he spat at her, turning and placing his hands on the railing. Now he didn't want to look at her. "So the rumors were right. Chess Lincoln the junky. Talk about going down fucking hill," he shook his head in disgust. He couldn't believe it. He really couldn't. "Now just imagine where you would be right now if you didn't toss me aside. The man who loves - loved - you more then life itself. I drank myself into a coma to try and forget you, but you turned to hard drugs? What happened to you Chess? Don't blame me leaving either, you made your god damn choice and it wasn't me. Besides, you could have gotten in touch with me if you wanted. Why the fuck are you so self destructive? God it's pathetic!" He was practically yelling now. People were watching, but he didn't care. He paused, looking at her. "Look me in the face, Chess!" he yelled, grabbing her face and turning it so she had no choice but to look him in the face. "I want you to be ashamed when you look at me, and I want you to see the disappointment I have for you right now," he told her, their faces so close he could smell the nicotine on her breath. "Soak it in, get a good look at my face..."

He paused, letting her go and turning. "Because you won't see be for a very long time. You're going to fuckin' rehab tomorrow if I have to fucking drag you there kicking and screaming."

______________

sdfjahsdfsd

[Chess Lincoln]

to die by your side

Everything that happened just now, you would think I would have yelled back or done something. but I didn't. i stayed silent, more dead inside than ever. looking him in the eyes, I just shrugged lightly and when he let me go to turn, I dropped my cigarette butt and took a deep breath. knowing he wouldn't leave until he heard what I had to say. by this point, the music was quiet, the people were watching in silence, and I just watched the back of Isaac. "I watched all that I love, fall from the sky. unable to catch them, i felt i should die. i watched all that is me, drown in the sea. i watched everything sink into eternity. so Isaac, when you feel the way i do, what's the point of living? im better off dead, we both know that. i want that more than anything. i dont want to be fixed, i want to be given up on and gone. that's the only way i wont be able to hurt you. and that's the reason for all this. please dont fix me. im far past repair." my voice projected toward him in a steady pace.

is such a heavenly way to die.

tagged; Isaac <3
notes; ohshit c:
inspiration; there is a light that never goes out - the smiths

[isaac clarke]

I fell apart when I fell for you.

[/font][/i]

If Chess was a man Isaac would have punched her right in the jaw. "Oh, did you reherse that little poem? What, is this some kind of joke to you Chess?" Isaac's voice wasn't as loud, but it was still obvious he was beyond pissed off. "Wanting to die is the cowards way out and I have no pity for a coward. I thought you were better then that - I thought you were better then this," he hissed at her, throwing his hands up in frustration. Now what was he suppose to do? It took everything in his will power not to walk away from her right now. Everything. "You're going to fuckin rehab. You may have given up on yourself but I haven't. So stop talking about this death shit, it's a complete buzz kill," his voice went a bit softer. Isaac loved talking about death with other people, but not when that person was Chess and she wanted to die. "Do you know how selfish that is of you? To want to basically kill yourself through drugs? It's just for the attention, if you really wanted to die you would have stuck a barrel down your throat or slit your wrists weeks ago. So don't give me that bullshit - " he paused, leaning against the railing as everyone around them continued to watch, to listen. "Do you have any idea what it's like to come back and see you like this, practically on your Death bed? When I left you were soaring to the top with your modeling and tattooing. You sabotaged yourself and now Im here to clean up the god damn mess."

Another slight pause. "I don't want you dead. I want you better."

______________

sdfjahsdfsd

[Chess Lincoln]

so cut my wrists and black my eyes,

Rehearsing was not in my vocab at all when it came to that phrase. Making it up off the top of my head in the high state I felt. Biting down on my lower lip, I listened to everything that he said. Patiently waiting for him to finish while I let every part of it barely effect my heart. “You don’t love me anymore, you aren’t with me anymore. Anytime I’m with someone I fuck it up somehow because I get torn. I am selfish because I’ve looked out for myself in the past. I’m paying for that, and I plan on giving the ultimate price. And as for it being an attention stunt? It’s not. I just wanted some entertainment before calling it quits. You didn’t have to come see me like this, but you did. So in a way, that’s your fault. You don’t have to clean up a mess that isn’t yours. You say you don’t want me dead, you want me better. But how true is that? You’ll never trust me again. It’ll never be the same. We’re never going to have what we once had, so why are you all of a sudden trying to make everything better when all you originally wanted to do was call me a slut?” I questioned quickly; my mind working on an edge like I haven’t ever experienced before.

I went ahead and grabbed my bag and went to walk by Isaac to the door before turning to look at him and lowering my voice to a whisper so that no one else could hear. “oh, and before I go and do call it quits, I want you to know that it was nice seeing you. And after all the time since I first met you, I’ve never stopped loving you.”

so I can fall asleep tonight, or die.

tagged; Isaac <3
notes; >3
inspiration; ohio is for lovers – hawthorne heights

[isaac clarke]

I fell apart when I fell for you.

[/font][/i]

Listening to everything Chess said Isaac remained silent. It was a cutesy she showed him, he could at lest do the same. He nearly huffed at the end of her little speech, watching as she picked up her bag and went to leave. He had to stop her, she couldn't just leave like this. "So you're just going to leave? Walk away just like that?" he protested, then she stopped, and started to speak again. Was she trying to break his heart for a second time? It was like she literally just ripped his heart out of his chest, and just when he thought he could get it back she ripped it in half. Purely out of reflex, Isaac grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him, twirling her a bit as he did so that her front would land against his, and in one fluent motion his lips met hers for the first time in god knows how long. He hated himself for it, knowing he was acting like the person he always complained and bitched about ; the one who runs back to the person who broke their heart. But he couldn't help it. Not once did he stop loving her.

After a moment their lips broke apart, Isaac laughing a bit under his breath as he let go of her, leaning up against the railing as he hung his head. That was stupid he told himself in thought before speaking. "I don't understand why you won't just let me love you..."

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-explodes-

[Chess Lincoln]

because you kill me.

I went to take another step before I felt his hand grip mine rather tight and I gave in, spinning to where my chest almost touched his, just barely brushing up against his as his lips touched mine and I felt my heart begin to shake. Closing my eyes, I let it bring me back and pretend that nothing had ever happened between us and we were the same people. However, when I opened my eyes, I saw him move and I felt that pain in my head and my heart that told me things weren’t the same. Gasps fell throughout the crowd when he kissed me, and his next words made them start to chat amongst each other. Some chick in the crowd was screaming, obviously pissed off but I paid no attention to it. “I don’t understand why you won’t just let me love you.” I heard him say and I just turned the same way he did, dropping my bag on a chair and folding my arms, resting a hand over my eyes with a dejected feeling. The tears burning up in my eyes before they started to fall. Almost like it had been years since I cried. I wasn’t one to cry, but today I just couldn’t help it. I bit my lower lip and stayed in that position, quivering ever so slightly. “I want you to love me. I’m just not a good lover..” I said softly under my breath, trying to keep my breath under control and the waterfall from overflowing too much.

you know you do.

tagged; Isaac <3
notes; >3
inspiration; ohio is for lovers – hawthorne heights

[isaac clarke]

i want to give you my everything
but i failed, i failed you so many times.

[/font][/i]

The sheer frustration of this situation had Isaac ready to explode. He paid little to no attention to the people around him, especially the girl who was calling him some kind of awful names. As he leaned on the railing he ran his hands through his hair, holding on to the ends tightly as he tried to think. He heard Chess move beside him, his eyes glancing in her direction briefly only to see that those beautiful green eyes of hers were starting to tear up before she actually started crying. "Chess .." he murmured weakly, knowing that crying was not something she did often. He sighed, letting his hands fall back to his side but he did not move yet. "Please stop crying, it's fuckin killing me," he pleaded in a low voice.

He finally turned to look at her when she spoke, Isaac shaking his head. "Then let me. Jesus christ Chess, stop being so self destructive. Just - " he paused, a sigh escaping his lips. "you just have to give me a god damn chance."

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-explodes-

[Chess Lincoln]

let’s try to remember those days back in December..

Hearing him say my name and continue to talk slightly, I sniffled a little to try and keep it contained. It was definitely nothing I’ve ever done before in public and I felt myself start to care a little more about my outward appearance. I just bit down on my lower lip and finally got it to stop before running a hand through my hair gently and lowering my gaze with a defeated sigh, picking up a cigarette from my bag and lighting it to calm myself down even more. I purposely blew the smoke the opposite way of Isaac though. “you just have to give me a god damn chance.” I heard him say once more. I stood there exhaling the smoke and wiping the tears from my eyes and face and nodded slightly. “You can have all the chances you want as long as one day you’ll forgive me..?” I asked him calmly, still a small quiver in my voice as I let my tired gaze rest upon him.

our lives were very different, I was lonely when we first met.

tagged; Isaac <3
notes; >3
inspiration; Decembers – hawthorne heights