Claude Walker
 bsoph bsoph[/color][/center]
you got no fear of the underdog, that's why you will not survive
Posts: 130
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Post by Claude Walker on Oct 30, 2010 15:44:53 GMT -5
 
"I'm alive, aren't i?" His ashy eyes stared at her, brow furrowing. "Well, yeah.. but what? What's going on with you?" Was she trying to come up with an excuse? His voice was a bit more persistent now, more demanding. Not that he was saying it in the tone that was threatening, he just wanted to know the truth of the what was going on. He wanted to know the real deal, he hated cutting corners and beating around the bush. He had learned enough from doing that in the past, so he definitely wasn't chasing after it now. His eyes were attached to her, eager, but bothered, about what he was going to hear. "Promise me you won't tell anyone? the only one else who knows of this is Colton.. Why did Colton know this and not him? Weren't they closer friends? He thought the two only met as of recently. "Tell anyone what? Ace, I'm sorry, but you gotta just let me know what it is already.."
He really didn't understand what the fuss was about when he saw the wounds, in fact, at first glance, it looked like she only got into an accident. Took him a moment, but he realized they weren't exactly.. accidental. They looked severe, like someone throbbed for the desire to cut that deep into her skin. They looked like they were done on purpose, in all. "Eh..Uh, what? Who did this.." He had a few drinks earlier, he wasn't seeing it, all he could surmise was that it was done purposely. It was meant to be, someone wanted it to happen. He looked at her face, then back at the wounds, before he grabbed the bottom of her hand and brought it to himself. Not in a jerky way, obviously not harshly. "You did this?.." He was silent for a second, brow furrowing again as he continued to look it over. "The drugs, now this? What the hell is going on Ace? Where is this coming from?" Lot more stern now. Not like he was gonna start yelling, but it seemed like he was close. How was he supposed to react to this? Claude was the last one to see this coming and it irritated him that Colton was the first to know of it. "Did Colton do something?"
outfit, bleeker
notes, whoasorry. muse out of no where :) mind if we switch it here?
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Post by Ace Ravena on Oct 30, 2010 17:20:43 GMT -5
 I pretty much just tended to ignore what he was saying to me. Everything that he said before i revealed to him was pointless when it came to showing him the secret i carried which pained me still. The secret that i could only tell a boy that i liked.. not one id known forever, but one that i just met and actually felt like i needed to tell him. "You did this?.. the drugs, now this? What the hell is going on Ace? Where is this coming from?" Now, you know.. it hurt to hear him reflect on my drug abuse. But the truth of the matter was that i had cut way before using drugs. Just never on my arms, and once i quit drugs and lost everything i was really trying to live for, yeah. It wasn't exactly how i wanted things to go. I wanted to actually have a good life, have love, children, everything. But here, knowing and feeling myself now in my pain hungered and pain stinging state, it was shameful. I just shook my head. Then, this next few words slightly pissed me off. "Did Colton do something?" What the fuck, Claude? I'd only known Colton for about a week now. Judging by actually knowing how long i did it, it didn't seem like it happened in a week.
But hey, his comments succeeded in pissing me off. In records, i never remembered myself being pissed at anyone but myself, so this was something different than myself. Speaking from my heart and the pain it held as opposed of my mind which said if i snapped at Claude, something would happen. But hey, here i was listening to my heart which was for the first time, the wrong idea. "Colton didn't do this, Claude. And yes, i did do this. Ive done it longer than you can imagine." I paused, lifting up the pirate shirt i wore and revealed the corset piercing of mine, pulling the ribbon out from it to see the scars and cuts there too. "Its coming from unhappiness, pain, anger, everything that i can't find a way to get out but using a razor to.." I paused, tugging my hand away from him and looking away to fight the burning sensation in my eyes. "It got worse after my daughter was taken from me, and Ashton left." I folded my arms across my chest, not looking at him at all.
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word count; 755
outfit; l i n k
for; Claude Walker
notes; i don't minddd(: i have ace muse anyway xD
the tunes; the way she feels - between the trees [/size][/color] |
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Claude Walker
bsoph bsoph [/color][/center]
you got no fear of the underdog, that's why you will not survive
Posts: 130
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Post by Claude Walker on Nov 1, 2010 19:36:53 GMT -5
Claude couldn't soak it in, he didn't even really understand. Sure, the girl had gone through painful experiences.. but shouldn't that make her stronger? Shouldn't that make her not want to experience more? He felt washed over with disappointment. He thought she was doing a lot better than this, he wasn't exactly gonna feel sorry for her for doing this. Sorry for the situations she got dragged into, but not for the situations she dragged herself into. "Colton didn't do this, Claude. And yes, i did do this. Ive done it longer than you can imagine." He stared at her blankly, mouth opening, then closing. "How does Colton know? How long have you known him.. I.. Just don't get this. Why wouldn't you tell me before.." He rubbed his face, stress coming over him. He didn't know how to deal with something like this.
"Its coming from unhappiness, pain, anger, everything that i can't find a way to get out but using a razor to.. "What?!.. Ace, there's other ways to dealing with things than this.." He looked at her again, but standing back a bit this time, brow still furrowed. "It got worse after my daughter was taken from me, and Ashton left." "I wish you would have said something to me then.. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad, maybe I coulda helped you, you know?" He said quieter, staring at the back of her head. "And your still doing this?.." He asked, stepping back over to her. He moved around her, trying to get a look at her face.
outfit, bleeker
notes, --
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Post by Ace Ravena on Nov 1, 2010 21:55:21 GMT -5
Listening to him, i could tell that he was upset. It didn't take rocket science to imagine the look on his face even with my back turned to him. The thought made me slightly shiver, though it was anything but cold in that bathroom that frankly, to be honest, smelled horrid. Either way, here he was asking me about Colton and I. I allowed a paused response though, gathering my bearings as i thought about the boy that i had this undeniable crush on that i hoped no one else really noticed. But here was Claude, judging on how i told Colton before I told him. Yeah, well honestly, Colton understood better. "How does Colton know? How long have you known him.. i.. just don't get this. why wouldn't you tell me before.." I heard him say, my thoughts expressed out loud which caused me to lower my head some in a frustrated defeat. "I thought that he would understand it better.. and I've known him for about a week or more now.. we met outside the rehab hospital, and i told him, but he didn't force me to go in.." I said softly, keeping my arms tight around my anorexic body, keeping my head down.
"What?!.. Ace, there's other ways to dealing with things than this." I lifted my head to look at him. "Yeah, you don't think i fucking know that Claude? I do, but i can't get myself to stop. It hurts when i do it but it hurts worse when i don't. It won't make sense to you, but cutting helps me be sure that I'm still.. well.. alive.." I said in a defeated tone of voice, looking away from him to allow a tear to slide down my cheek before raising a hand of mine to wipe it away, trying not to show this weakness in front of Claude. "I wish you would have said something to me then.. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad, maybe i coulda helped you, you know? And you're still doing this?" His voice seemed just about as defeated as me, and as he moved to see my face, i made sure that i wiped my tears away before he saw the pale lifeless skin that was something pretty to look at. "I still do it.. Ive stopped for about a day.. but, its really painful to not do it.." I said softly, trying to ignore the fact of what he said before, before it caught up with my mind. "You couldn't have helped. Nobody could and i highly doubt that anybody can..."
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outfit; l i n k
for; Claude Walker
notes; --
the tunes; the way she feels - between the trees [/size][/color] |
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BFRESH BFRESH
