f a i l u r e , find me.

[Chess Lincoln]

you hang me up now, by my neck
'cause I'm a fate worse than death.

'Bang... tink... bang... tink..' I wasn't insane. But good Lord, i was about to be. Walking around the carnival was a good thing, for inspiration of interesting tattoos. However, for sanity, it was definitely another story. There were absolutely a ton of children just running everywhere like chickens missing their heads. I was sure anymore of that one red head over there enjoying the ring the bell game. Are you serious? After seven tries, he threw a fit. Just more 'bells' to my ears. Jesus, kids these days. I let my feet take me away from the ringing of the bell to hear more of a ferris wheel sound. This made me happy, and i let my current gray green gaze flicker about the area. There were more crowds, but a giant ferris wheel about five yards in front of me. Inspiration grew from this, oddly enough. But hey, i wasn't complaining. I shoved my hands into my pockets and trudged forth so i could follow the path, watching the ferris wheel a bit. The wheels in my head spinning and turning. I exhaled quietly and took a few more slow strides over to the shade of a tree.

Leaning against it, i crossed one leg over the other. I was currently wearing converse boot-heels, tight black skinny jeans, a black leather corset, and a leather jacket that wasn't zipped up. My hair was pulled up in a tall, rather large faux-hawk. I pulled my aviators out of my shoulder strap backpack and slid them on so i could see the ferris wheel a little more. Pulling out a little sketch book and pen as well, i proceeded to sketch what looked like a spider-webbed ferris wheel. I began to chew on my lip, some nervous habit i picked up on when i was little. A quick sketch had that finished before i shut my eyes which were outlined in dark black, and took a couple deep breaths, ignoring the memories i found. I let my gaze flicker over and noticed a little boy a bit ahead of me, looking down in a shy way. I figured i could take a step away from random tattooing and could begin drawing some random portrait. I had the inspiration for this from the boy. I flipped the page and took a deep breath, looking back down at my tablet.

I began to sketch the outline of the boy that seemed about seven. Drawing his silhouette and then his facial features, having him look down. I drew in the rest of his body's outline and placed a bouquet of roses in his hands. And instead of a carnival booth i added a casket. The smooth wood was easy to sketch and the boy was easy to add adjustments to. Chewing on the inside of my cheek a tad, i continued to add details to the boys face. A tear down his cheek, you know; the original sad things you would find in a funeral. Giving up as i noticed the boy leave, i had to improvise. Yet, i would wait to get started on improvising. I placed the tablet and pencil back into my satchel and straightened up from the tree. Beginning to take more steps, i stepped away from the ferris wheel to where many rows of booths were located. I took a glance in pretty much every one, but nothing seemed to appeal to me.

Darkness began to overtake the entire carnival and i began to grow happy again. the lights of carnivals and the rides were just so gorgeous. I couldn't find anything to compare to it really. I continued to walk a slow pace, gazing around as the lights flickered on the carnival booths and rides. I came across a drink stand, taking out a five dollar bill and getting a small lemonade. I got my change and murmured a gently thank you to the person who handed me the small lemonade, which made my Finnish accent very visible. I got a smile from the cashier, knowing he found my accent a bit strange. I just rolled my eyes and proceeded walking away from the drink stand and heading more toward the open booth area, where people were gathered thick. I figured there would be rides on the other side i could just watch the lights spin around, so i weaved my way through the crowd.

what a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes.

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word count; 737
notes; its for anyone <3
the tunes; Setting Yourself Up For Sarcasm - Get Scared[/blockquote][/size]

[caleb]

Caleb Scott Griffin, a tall handsome man with clearly marked big muscles toning on his body was walking through the carnival, not even knowing what he was doing around there. He was feeling aching in his entire head after drinking too much the night before. He smiled for a second thinking back. He had met a girl, some black haired beauty. Long hair, blue eyes. She had been easy. Almost too easy for it to be fun. Well, sex was always fun. But Caleb had grown very fond of that moment the morning after, where he had figured out, that if he just stood up and started putting on his close, they would wake up. And he would just tell her, that he had to go to work and that he expected her to be gone when he got back home. And that he never wanted her to contact him again. He loved seeing the girls reaction to that message. Some started to cry, other started throwing his things after him. He sighed of the joy the thought gave him.
You only have the fun you make yourself, right?

Well, why was he at the carnival that night?
He had been told by some of his 'friends' that it would turn into some place for drunk and high people at night when the kids was gone, so now, when the sun was taking its last glance on this spot on the world, he was there, walking down a path. He saw many parents rushing their kids either out of the area or just to the kids area. The place with the rides and the little train and what the hell it contained besides that. he didn't know and did not really care.
He looked at the sky turning orange and purple before leaving the entire place in black. He digged his hands into the pockets of the light worn out jeans. Besides that he wore a black tank top and a simple black leather jacket.
No matter what he was wearing, he looked amazing. He knew that.

He got to the place, where a lot of young people were hanging out, waiting for the real action. He saw a couple of his ex'es and decided, that he was going to wait till they were getting drunk, so they would not set fire to him or something. He was quite sure, that after the way he had treated them, they would. If they got the chance at least. He sat down on a bench a bit away, so he could still hear their voices, filled with excitement. He did not really care, what they were excited about, so he leaned his aching head back, just a little bit, and closing his eyes. It did not take long, before he had his eyes completely shut and he was at that point between sleep and wake.

[Chess Lincoln]

stay with me soul.
so i wont get lonely.

I continued on my stride, taking a few sips from the lemonade which was definitely not the best I'd had before. So one more swig and tossing it out was on the agenda. I found the trash and tossed the cup away, and continued to make my way through the crowd. My imagination brought me back to the time when i was staying at my foster parents home. When everything was picture book perfect. It really did make me sick. Faking everything just to have a 'healthy environment'. Yeah, right. I rolled my eyes, completely aware that the issue i was arguing with was stuck inside my head. I exhaled quietly, feeling the stress grow over me from random issues within my mind. This wasn't helping at all. I chewed on my lip and lowered my head a bit so i looked down a bit more instead of over the crowd as i continued to make my way through.

Upon getting back out, i found some bench that a guy was sitting on. Now, i wasn't going to lie to anyone, but he was rather attractive. I tightened my jacket around my shoulders some and without his permission, took a seat near the edge, slightly beside him. I ran a hand through my hair as i looked down pulling back out my tablet and flipping through the previous drawings i had done. I looked back up to the fully lighted carousel off in the distance and flipped to a new page and began sketching it rather fast. Working on the sketch i shot a glance to the guy before exhaling, frustrated with myself. Why was i paying attention to someone not worth my time? I suppose it was just something that i had to deal with in an odd way.

I chewed on my lip, working on the lighting of the ride. I crossed one leg over the other, my bootleg converse showing some random tribal designs on the sides i had drawn on with a paint pen. It was a pain-staking process but ended with amazing results.

swallow hope, so i wont get hungry.

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word count; 348
notes; sorry its short! i have a bit of writers block o.o
the tunes; Lock the Doors - Get Scared[/blockquote][/size]

[caleb]

Caleb almost fell asleep, as he sat there on the bench with a big hungover still. He had been drinking all night, besides the point where he had gone home with that girl. It had been around 7 AM when he finally fell asleep, after throwing out the girl. Right out the door with his little trick. He smiled by the thought again. He had to try that again some time. So he had slept until afternoon, and therefore his head and muscles were still sore. He head the complaint from the wood, the bench was made of, as more weight pushed it down. He opened one eyes to look at the girl, who after his opinion was way too beautified with tattoos and piercings. That hair too. He concluded, that she was not his type of girl. He loved the more feminine woman, with curves and long hair. He shrugged and pulled back his head up, yawning big. He stretched his long legs for a while, as he corrected his position. Straightened up his back, without looking stiff. Just relaxed.

He let his blue gaze wander over her, a bit more curious than before. She had found a tablet and started drawing, which instantly made him more curious about her. Everything about art was interesting for him, given that he was an artist himself. He tilted his head to the side, moving a bit closer, discretely, trying to get a better view at what she was drawing. The carousel. She actually did a pretty good job, so his first thought was, that she might be a professional as himself.

,,I think you should try getting the children into the picture too”

He said casually and smiled crookedly to her. He could might as well have some fun with that girl, even though she wasn't his type. He tilted his head again, looking at her with that extraordinarily charming look in his light blue eyes and a smile that kept the same tone. His voice was rough, smooth. Fantastic to listen to.

,,Hey.. My name is Caleb”

He added, laughing gently. He shrugged and lead a hand through his short black hair, thoughtful. The voices from the firework behind them was getting louder, a sign that they was starting to drink and have fun with each other. He did not miss it. They weren't wasted enough yet, so he was still going to wait for a while, before leaving the bench and moving towards the crowd of young people. One had brought a guitar, but did not play very well, so it was going rounds, where everybody who thought they were good at it gave it a try, until they found someone good enough to entertain. A join was send around afterward. He raised one eyebrow, licking his lips shortly.

[Chess Lincoln]

walk away, barely breathing as i'm lying on the floor.
take my heart, as you're leaving;

I continued to chew on my lip lightly as i sketched quickly. I sensed a bit of movement from beside me where the boy was. Then a bit of words, which caused me to glance down at my sketch instead of seem religiously attracted to the carousel and it's spins. I looked over at him after and just shrugged. "Yeah? Well... my style of art is more like the depressing type, so a deserted carousel works well. I could add a kid to it that might have fallen asleep if it makes you any happier." My voice seemed to have that 'snappy/crabby' tone. My Finnish accent bright and noticeable but it bothered me little like it had when i was at the lemonade stand. I returned my gaze to my drawing and worked on the lighting a bit more waiting for his response before i listened to his introduction.

"I'm Chess. Kind of like the Cheshire Cat." I murmured to him even though my face was angled down to the tablet as my pencil sketched along it, pulling out little lines from the darkest parts as shadows. I listened to the fireworks from behind us and looked back up, my bright green-blue eyes outlined in black eyeliner seemed bright against my rather pale tattooed figure. I looked back to the carousel for a moment as it went around again. "Well. Fuck." I sighed some waiting the few seconds it took for the carousel to stop so i could work on the shadows more. A moving carousel was like a liar. Shadows weren't there before, but as it went around the different heights of the horses made them magically appear. Magic? If only it would work. I could use some magic here, or luck. Either one would be very useful. I glanced over at the crowd as the guitar was passed around and then the joint. It was simple for me to ignore those. Drugs just wasn't something i was into. Tried it once, but it just never appealed to me. So i stuck to tattooing and artistry. My gaze returned to the carousel so i could see the one horse that i had begun to draw, spin in the circle.

I noticed its rich dark color, strong flowing fake mane and tail that was tinted with white, and jewels. The bright blue saddle with sequins and glitter were particularly drawing me in. It was easy to say that it was a gorgeous carousel horse, whether it looked broken down or not. Carousels were just something that had this unusual power over me, catching my attention away from practically everything; even in life-threatening situations. I was an odd person, and i knew this. Not because i sounded different than anyone else with my Finnish accent or heritage, but because i was different. My tattoos, hair, just the way i carried myself was different. I carried my head high, like i knew that people envied me. Not like i did know if they did, but i acted like i knew it. Most of all, other people when speaking to me always seemed to know what to say and what not to say. It was a little odd, like i gave off that vibe of which I'd never picked up from anyone else. I wasn't strange, in my opinion, i was a 'new breed'. something of the human race that people didn't really know what to do with.

i don't need it anymore.

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word count; 576
notes;
the tunes; the memory - mayday parade[/blockquote][/size]

[caleb]

Caleb sat for a while, looking at her, not really caring whether or not he seemed creepy. He couldn't care less actually. He was like that in all matters. Indifferent, not thinking about it as anything important. He was basically one of those types who just drifted along in life and did whatever the hell interested him, instead of trying to please everyone else. He did not like that thought at all. It wouldn't be much of a life, if all you did was keeping others happy. Yes, so your mom and dad wants you to take an education and be successful in life. But if that isn't what you enjoy doing, then why should you? He knew that many hated school, but still decided to go there, because their parent would get disappointed, if they did not finish high school, college, university, whatever you had decided would be the best. Caleb had just dropped out after high school. But then again, he didn't have parent to watch over him. The only family he had, was his sister Angela and a lot of foster families, who had all given up on him. Much of a family, huh?

She finally answered his little suggestion, but her tone was snappy. She clearly did not like, that he had said his opinion, so he shrugged once as a reply. He didn't want to talk to people, who did not enjoy doing it. That was just another way of lying. Being polite, when all you really want is to snap someones head off.

,,Do what you please. I don't care”

he just said in an indifferent bored tone. He wasn't hurt by her tone at all. She could do what she wanted, or talk as she liked. He'd be gone in a moment anyway.
For a second his gaze went back to the crowd of people. He judged, that they would probably be all right to join in an half hour maybe. He just had to keep himself entertained until then. Not that it was the hardest assignment on earth. He tabbed his fingers on his lap, bored. He knew that it might would annoy this girl, but frankly, she could just leave, if she had a problem.

,,Hello Chess”

he greeted her with a short nod in her direction. He stretched his long legs for a while, thoughtful in his expression. The deep dark brown eyes and a little wrinkle on his forehead. The noise of kids playing tuned out, while the voices from the firework got louder, as someone tripped and fell, and another decided to puke in a bush. He looked disgusted. He hated, when someone got drunk just to be puking and tripping around. If you had to drink, you had to know your limits. At least, that was what his little sister hat told him. She did not comment on his heroine addiction, but she sure had opinions when it came to alcohol. He smiled by the thought of his innocent little sister. She was so different from himself, in most ways.

[Chess Lincoln]

I'll wear your skin as a suit;
pretend to be you.

I began to chew on my lip, hearing his reply. What a greeting that was? Yeah, thought so. I was bitchy at times, but who could blame a girl? I was pretty new in this part of town. I needed something to do, and drawing random tattoo ideas couldn't help any. I turned my gaze over to him, taking in his features. His well defined jawbone, his high cheek bones, his dark ruffled hair, and his bright blue eyes. Not just any color eyes, blue. Why in the world i had a thing for blue eyes, i wasn't sure; but they were definitely something that drew me in and made me think. Sometimes the power over me that any blue's carried were absolutely something i despised. They changed me. They made me act differently, if the person they belonged to knew how to use them. The fatal effects were easily noticed. I pulled my eyes from him and looked down again.

I messed around with the pencil in my hands, flipping it around and back. Chewing on my lip the entire time. I stopped and took a deep breath and leaned back some, returning my gaze to him. "Well, hello Caleb." I spoke with a gentle tone. Deciding that a happier me would do magically for us both. I kept my gaze on him for a few moments and played with my lip ring a tiny bit as my green gaze took in more of him. I decided not to seem weird and amazed. I wasn't amazed, i was interested. "Its nice to meet you." I said with a smooth velvet sound to my voice tainted with the Finnish heritage i carried. I felt like being a tiny bit polite and stuck my right hand out toward him. My skin was pale, tattooed pretty much everywhere. My fingers on my right hand wrote "mans" and the left said "ruin". I had a couple geisha's on my body, and a large chest piece of a skull. I also had a sleeve, a large portrait on my back, and many others that need not be explained for now.

My green/gray eyes were outlined in thick black as i had said before. Just a little something to make them stick out more. I cleared my throat before taking a deep breath. "What brings you here? To the carnival. I rarely see many guys here alone.. Not like I'm here often.." I said softly. Mentally smacking myself in the forehead. Why was i speaking like this? I cared about what i said to him. Why i did, i had no idea. But it bothered me to an extreme extent. I looked down and fiddled with my fingers and fingernails, taking a deep breath and looking back over at him. Curiosity filling my mind where confusion just had been.

your friends will like you more than they used to.

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word count; 472
notes; --
the tunes; Ride the Wings of Pestilence - From First to Last[/blockquote][/size]