BFRESH BFRESH
Post by Ace Ravena on Dec 4, 2011 21:21:12 GMT -5
you are the fire in my apartment floor,
it was dark and I had no idea what was happening. My eyes shifted from one black mass to another black mass, both being around the very same size. They appeared to resemble the shape of men. The very same men who I remembered coming toward me before everything went black. Next thing I knew, it was dark, I had no phone, and my clothes were kind of tattered. I was stuck in the back of a van that was moving. And I couldn’t see anyone outside of the car. Just the gruff voices and blackened silhouettes of the bodies in the seats arguing. I couldn’t say a thing since my mouth was covered with a handkerchief, and my arms were bounded by zip ties in front of me. Just then, the van stopped and the men got out. A few moments later the doors in the back where I was had opened and a bright light washed over me.
and then I woke up. I woke up to a bright white pale room with the light trickling in my bedroom. My heart was starting to calm down from the dream while I laid there and listened to the sound of the birds chirping out my window. I laid there trying to figure out what was wrong and why I kept feeling the way I did, before I exhaled and got up to shower. However, it wasn’t just a shower. A few moments of included cutting to let the blood slide down my arm into the drain. And as the little story I said everytime I cut goes, “and the razor looked at the wrist and smiled. After it had slid across the wrist, it exhaled a breath and said ‘now you’re smiling too.’”
My wrist and arms unfortunately contained many smiles. My skin had been painted redish by the tint of the blood that had been silt across it, as well as scarlet from the scabs. It was also pretty gruff and bumpy feeling and looking from the scars. Never would I forget my “SORRY” that had been cut into my right arm for reasons that I knew for myself.
You could only imagine what I had been through to want to end this life. And right before I thought about doing it each time, a familiar face, smiling, popped into my head. Claude. The Ken to the Barbie I appeared to be. This guy was probably the only reason I was still alive. I was in a rehab center, go figure huh? I was actually in the independent living section which was how I got back to my horrible addiction. I was good for a while except for when my dream occurred. It wasn’t just a dream, though. It was reality. It really did happen. And I refused to let the police make it a huge story. If they had, I probably would’ve been swarmed by media.
But no. As I got out of the shower and got dressed, I picked up my phone and called Claude, hoping to leave a voicemail since it was early. My luck was good for the day and his voicemail message went on and the signal of the time to speak had just beeped. I had paused for a second before clearing my throat. “Hey Claude? Its Ace.. Havent seen you in awhile. I’d kind of like to catch up. Could you meet me at my place? I cant leave without approval and I doubt I’d get it.. but I need someone to talk to and you know more about me than the therapists here. So maybe you can help? I’m in the rehab center, in the living center, room 356. Could you call me back or text me and let me know? I really miss you..” I said before exhaling a defeated sigh and closed my phone. My voice grew quiet and quivery toward the end of the voicemail. Then, I sat back in bed under my blankets and stared aimlessly out the window at those happy birds, making a nest so theyd have somewhere to live and thrive when the worst of winter would hit. I began to wonder what my worst winter would come.
sixteen stories, I’d rather burn than fall
